American Beauty.

this post is long overdue.


so you've seen the movie right ? i always thought it was clever, but this year i understand even better how true and sarcastic it is.

the weight of appearances in this society is just everything. come to think of it, who else would have invented fake tan, teeth whitening and cake frosting ? also, who cares if the walls of your house might collapse under a little storm, or if you can hear everything from one room to another, it looks awesome on the outside!

you have to look successful, you have to look like you made it. it's like the american dream is more alive than ever, as the ultimate goal to achieve, and without which you might just be a loser, or an outcast, it's all about your point of view ;)

"leslie: man i wish i could ice those cookies really smoothly, not all crappy like say, this one
anneke: see cassie, the lady who brought us the cookie cutters and stuff, i bet she can do it, she's perfect
leslie: there's no such thing as perfection, don't worry, there's something wrong with her"

see what i'm talking about ? even a successful liberal 30-something woman, with the husband-kid-career combo, still has this idea that that lady, with the nice hair, the two kids, the lovely husband, who's really good at hosting parties and icing cookies, deserves to be called perfect. who the heck decided she has it right ?

i don't really care about that, probably because i'm not american in the first place, and i'm so damn far from the picture, and also because if everyone says that's what i should be, well i'm likely to go in the other direction, just for the sake of it.

but another tip of this big iceberg of prejudice and shallowness --and the reason i remembered i needed to write an angry note about it-- is the everlasting weight problem, and also what your face looks like. last week, i hear j.love hewitt was being bashed because she wore a bikini on a random beach and well, did not look like a size zero (ie size 30 if you're european, and ps i didn't know we had anything below 32). anyway today i bumped into le picture:

 

 

i mean seriously, are we having this conversation? i just wanted you to know, this is where i live.

one last thing:
"leslie: man she looks nasty [america ferrera in ugly betty], and she's so pretty in real life!
anneke:well, i wouldn't say so pretty
leslie: she's not typical american jessica alba pretty, but still she's really pretty
anneke: i'd say she's average
leslie: ugh whatever"
don't know about you, but i've looked worse:

 

 

 

 

i'm not sure that i actually have a point, but you get my opinion. how can being so shallow create anything besides frustration and neurosis ? in the end, the cheerleader wasn't so slutty, and the homophobic father, not so straight.

Myspace.

dec1st. circa 4:30pm. bway & E8th.
-hi, are you from around here?
-hum, it depends*
-are you from around here?
-hum*, yes
-do you know a restaurant or a bar we could go to?
-there's this great chocolate place, at broadway and 13th
-and is times square in this direction?
-hum yeah, times square's pretty far though
-yeah yeah we know

 

 *à chaque fois. à chaque fois c'est pareil. est-ce que jsuis d'ici? qu'est-ce que j'en sais. ça dépend. jsuis née à tours, france. après j'ai vécu 20 ans à orléans, france. puis trois mois à paris, france. et deux mois à washington, dc. ça fait 8 mois que jme suis posée à new york,ny. voilà d'où jsuis. 

 

mais c'est pas le problème. jvoulais te demander ton avis, savoir si j'étais complètement déraisonnable (don't answer that). est-ce que t'es attaché à un espace, en l'occurence ta chambre chez tes parents, ou ailleurs ? nan parce qu'on veut que je vide les lieux pour que la soeur de 13 ans emménage, et premièrement, non, deuxièmement, non. je sais pas si c'est ton cas, mais à l'extérieur il faut tout le temps essayer de ressembler à quelque chose, tu tentes différentes choses, le cool, le pas cool, le classe, le détaché, un peu de tout et beaucoup de rien. pour conserver un certain équilibre mental j'ai besoin d'un espace où j'arrête d'essayer, où jme pose juste, et on s'en fout si jsuis cool, ou pas cool. 

 

ma chambre c'est mon espace. en dix ans j'ai créé des liens. j'ai aidé à poser le parquet. j'ai aidé à construire la mezzanine, j'ai tout lazuré couleur abricot, j'ai choisi la frise. ya sûrement 17000 trous de punaises dans les murs, des spice girls/titanic à mes tirages photo. 

 

et c'est bizarre parce qu'à l'origine j'aime bien partager, donner. à mes dépens la plupart du temps d'ailleurs. et je passe facilement à autre chose, j'avance toujours je reste pas coincée des années à ressasser ou regretter. en général. genre ce soir jviens de revoir des photos de pothier, et c'était super bizarre, comme si j'avais oublié cette période. mais alors là pas du tout, et l'idée que zac efron tapisse l'endroit m'angoisse un peu pour tout te dire. ma chambre mérite mieux que ça.

 

et aussi la soeur m'énerve à toujours exiger des tas de choses comme si tout lui était dû et qu'on devait tous être à son service, et ne serait-ce que par esprit de contradiction je dis non. sans compter que pendant ce temps-là, quand la soeur en question à redécoré sa chambre, elle a peint moitié dans un espèce d'orange, moitié en vert anis, encore quelque chose qui m'angoisse quand j'y pense. et jpréfère être à l'ouest plutôt qu'à l'est.

 

 

et aussi j'arrive dans 19 jours! you-hou! un peu d'enthousiasme que diable :p 

Best. Thanksgiving. Ever.

be thankful to wiki for furthering your knowledge ;)

 

Thanksgiving, or Thanksgiving Day, is a traditional North American holiday to give thanks for the things that one has at the conclusion of the harvest season. Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States.

Thanksgiving Day is part of four- or five-day long weekend which usually marks a pause in school and college calendars. Many workers (78% in 2007) are given both Thanksgiving and the day after as paid holidays. [but America runs on Starbucks, so if you work at the drive thru in State College PA I'd like to personally thank you for that grande pumpkin spice latte last thursday]. The day after Thanksgiving is promoted as the unofficial holiday of Black Friday: the beginning of the traditional Christmas shopping season. Many retailers open very early (for example, 5 A.M. or earlier) and offer "doorbuster" deals to draw people to their stores [hence me going on that day to a cabin in the woods of central pennsylvania with no internet connection and no cell phone service]. A countermovement to this exists, calling the day after Thanksgiving "Buy Nothing Day" to campaign against commercialism of holidays.

Thanksgiving meals are traditionally family events where certain kinds of food are served [and by traditionally they mean ALWAYS, as in that day all of America eats the same thing. they're extremely attached to what should or shouldn't be done. they would not understand if someone suggested to cook something new. I put whipped cream next to my pie and not on it, seven people saw me and said: you're supposed to put it ON the pie you know.] As is evidenced by the tremendous level of travel, significant effort is made by family members to gather for the Thanksgiving celebration [what no one talks about is that after all the eating and the partying, everyone decides to go home at the same time and it'll take you about 2 hours to get to Manhattan, from the other side of the river]. Turkey is the featured item in most Thanksgiving feasts (so much so that Thanksgiving is sometimes facetiously referred to as "Turkey Day"). Stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy [i'm stating the obvious, but you have to make a volcano], sweet potatoes [topped with roasted marshmallows! not my personal favorite, i like my sweet potato with butter and brown sugar], cranberry sauce [really just like cranberry jello if it comes from a can, which it does 90% of the time. ps: it's gross], corn, turnips, rolls, pecan pie, and pumpkin pie [my personal favorite. you have to top it with whipped cream. and get the spicy kind, not the wimpy. variations are allowed, but most people just use the recipe on the can. tried it. loved it.] are commonly associated with Thanksgiving dinner, although it was quite probable that many of these culinary items did not feature in the first Thanksgiving in 1621. Often guests bring food items or help with cooking in the kitchen as part of a communal meal.

1621 Thanksgiving, The Pilgrims in Massachusetts. The early settlers were particularly grateful to Squanto, the Native American and former British slave who taught them how to fish and grow corn and also served as their native interpreter. The Plymouth settlers (who came to be called "Pilgrims") set apart a holiday immediately after their first harvest in 1621. They held an autumn celebration of food, feasting, and praising God. The Governor of Plymouth invited Grand Sachem Massasoit and the Wampanoag people to join them in the feast. Evidence to support that claim came from diaries of Plymouth. The settlers fed and entertained the Native Americans for three days, at which point some of the Native Americans went into the forest, killed 5 deer, and gave them to the Governor as a gift. [so that's a nice and clean version of the story, but also, a couple decades later, as the pilgrims were pretty successful with the whole let's-kill-the-indians plan, many new england towns and churches decided to celebrate those victories with thanksgiving days, and by you know, kicking the decapitated heads of native americans around manhattan. now that's what i call a happy holiday!]

 

 

 

now my experience also includes finishing a 1000-piece puzzle at 1:30 in the morning, playing speed with the kids, having pumpkin waffles, kicking ass at trivial pursuit*, stirring the gravy, eating too much pie, eating too much mashed potatoes, laughing until my cheek bones hurt, perfecting all the ways there are of saying pfff with the grandpas, facing awkward goodbye situations, sleeping til 1pm, eating too much. 

 

 

"me: you know what's so awesome about this family ?
anneke: no?
me: it's not mine! man i can fully enjoy the experience ;)"

 

 

seriously these people make me happy. every other month, when there's too much cynicism in my life, i just go see them for a couple of days, and all is well again, it's like magic. i'm actually all sad and bummed out that i'm not going to spend christmas with them (they have stockings with their name on it for cryin out loud!), so no pressure, but you better be happy to see me :p

 

 *especially when the question is "Where's the Austerlitz train station?" hahaha

Welcome to the monkey house.

 

 

ne le dis à personne mais ça fait un mois que jdis autour de moi que je suis des cours en ligne alors que jgalérais encore avec les inscriptions. début de l'année scolaire ? 16 novembre! ;) une tonne de cours à lire, des devoirs prévus toutes les semaines, double licence, jvais enfin avoir de quoi me plaindre :p 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't give up on me.

raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

 

so. will someone get me like sparkly things, a push-up bra, and maybe a dress or a skirt of some sort, that would make me look like a girl ? when you're at a party and you realize that besides the cute shirt and the pink pointy shoes, you're basically dressed like the guys and not the girls, i have the feeling it's not such a good thing. maybe i should get one of those shirts for newborns that says i'm a girl. 

 

and ps, since when is it ok to have a perfectly interesting conversation about french politics and alabama with a guy who goes to med school and looks like justin timberlake (seriously) ?

 

EDIT// apparently i forgot to mention that but the guy is obviously somebody's boyfriend :)